Number 3: Second Life Bikes (21 Main Street, Asbury Park) Needs Your Support!!

Kerri Martin is pretty cool, and not just because she has her own Ted Talk for her witty sidewalk billboards (Go 'head and check that off the bucket list...). She also runs a very interesting Bike Shop that does repairs and restorations of old, donated bicycles.  However, her employees are not your everyday hippy, bike repair-type, but kids in the local community. Now before getting all crazy and looking up child labor laws for Jerz, you should read on...  (and can someone please let me know if I am correctly using semi-colons...)

In December, Avery and I moved to Asbury Park.  

Growing up on the Jersey shore in the nineties, Asbury Park was not exactly the vacationing hot spot for visitors it once was.  Following the race riots in the seventies, which destroyed many of the city's historical landmarks; years of crime, more than three times the national average; and a corrupt local government; the city often came with a stigma of being dangerous. However, in recent years the city has shown major signs of rejuvenation (partly through gentrification) although much of the inner city continues to struggle with poverty and high crime rates, largely gang and drug-related.

In 2006, Kerri Martin founded an after-school program called Bike Church for kids between the ages of 12-18.  In a small garage located behind a nearby church, the program was devoted to putting inner city kids to work and teaching them basic bike repair and business skills. Bike Church also hosted bike ride tours and also gave lessons for kids.  Rather than receive pay for their hard work, the kids received something better… the bike of their choice.  Her program did well in the local community.  Bicycles crammed the garage to capacity and in 2010, the program was moved to a much larger facility on main street and so began Second Life Bikes.  The shop continues to employee children in the community, many working extra hours just because they like being in the shop and working on the bikes as a hobby or for parts. (Click here for a really beautiful video that basically sums up this blog...)

So here's why we need to support them: Second Life Bikes is a non-profit youth development charitable organization and all of the money from the bikes that are sold goes back into supporting the program.  In a resuscitated area of Asbury Park, only a few blocks from the beach and the shopping district of AP, this highly coveted location has become very expensive.  The owner of this space is putting the building up for sale.  Second Life Bikes is now raising money to purchase the building so that it can continue to be a part of this community.  This program is vital to an Asbury Park where crime rates are improving but 30% of its residents are still living below the poverty line (3 times the NJ percentage), drop out rates are among the highest in the state, and only 1 out of 5 children from the community attain a degree past high school (U.S. Census). 

I visited the bike shop recently (it was near closing time, if you are wondering why the place looks quiet) and made a donation for a T-shirt (I'm broke right now... it was the best I could do!).

I am very excited to be donating to Second Life Bikes and supporting this awesome cause.  Although their Rockethub campaign has recently ended, you can still donate through their website (secondlifebikes.org) or visit the shop in person to donate, volunteer or just say hi to the awesome regulars that work there and amble through hundreds of really cool bikes.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

-Thomas

Number 2: A Most Brocious Cause

NAVLE's done... Now we are gonna start rollin' through these... :/

Yep we look like an angry emo boy band.... so what!

It was Willie's idea, (or maybe Danny's?), but I think Danny was just being lazy and said "I'm not shaving for the rest of the month." Truth is none of us wanted to shave this month, guy or girl. None of us wanted to do anything this month.  There were days I didn't want to do anything but stay in bed and imagine that November was gone.  The day's were getting shorter, Alabama was playing with new meds to treat its bipolar weather, and I was spending most of my time trying to figure out at what point the stress will end.  There's a licensing exam, then internship applications, then interviews, then ranking/matching +/- scrambling +/- finding a job.   Don't worry, it's even gibberish to me.

The rule was, whoever won "No Shave November" would get to choose the charity.  We each put in $20 (that's a lot of money when you are probably pretty close collectively to $1 million in debt) and in the end it was William Joglar (that hairy beast), who resisted the blade and was crowned this year's champion scruff machine.   (The winner was chosen by a subjective vote, since my idea to weigh our manly trimmings on a scale was deemed... gross).

The charity is the Prostate Cancer Foundation... because cancer is a sonofabitch and it's present in some form in everyone's lives. Prostate cancer affects about 15% of all men at some point in their lives and is most common in older men (Ages 40-70).  It is more common in black men (60% higher risk) and men that consume diets high in fat and/or alcoholic beverages.  Screening tests are available and should begin at age 40.  By testing early your doctor can monitor changes to the prostate size and shape to determine when more invasive diagnostic tests should be pursued. 

We chose this charity for a many sentimental and personal reasons as all of the 4 gentlemen in the photo above have or had family members continuing to fight or have fought cancer battles in the past.  This donation was just a small salute to acknowledge their fight.  This charity scored very highly on accountability and transparency (www.charitynavigator.com) and I encourage all to visit their website to learn more: www.pcf.org

One of my goals in maintaining this blog has not just been to be a better person, but hopefully create a domino effect or create some kind of small spark in my friends and family to want to do better.  We all want to be good people and live better lives and leave this world better than we entered it.  There just needs to be a place to start. So, by getting my friends and family excited about doing these with me, I think I am working towards that. See y'all soon.

-Thomas

Some helpful references:
http://www.webmd.com/prostate-cancer/default.htm
http://seer.cancer.gov/statfacts/html/prost.html
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/prostate

Number 1: I had to start somewhere...

 ... so let me tell you about Frank.

This is a giant Haitian dude named Sam Dalembert.  Sam plays for the Dallas Mavs today, but back in the day he was with SHU.  You'll get it in a bit. Promise. 

My first step toward being a better human is Fantasy Football.  I know... crazy, right? So, not all good deeds need to break your back, alright? aaaaaaaand I am studying bovine top 20 diseases right now (and all I really know about cows is that they're delicious... beyond that I'm pretty lost), so I felt this was a good place to start.  This league was formed by Lou Settembrino, an old high school friend and fellow Jersey paison, to support a scholarship fund in memory of Frank.

Frank was 4 years older than me and he could honestly do no wrong. Everyone loved him. He was charming, good looking, smart, respectful, honest, courteous and he had a great sense of humor. Good at sports. Good at school. Good at life. He and my dad were the first mentors in my life.

It's been 13 years and I still think about him every day.  I feel awkward telling people this story in-person and for that reason I don't think I ever do a good job getting the words out.  So I'm going to write it here.

He wanted to play baseball. It was a dream.  My neighbor, Lou Delauro (try'n keep up with the ginzo names, southern friends), played ball for Seton Hall University and growing up, that's all Frank really talked about.  He got a few looks in high school and was accepted to SHU and walked-on to the team.  He was one of the last ones cut before the start of the '99 season.  I can remember how disappointed he was.  My parents asked him about transferring, but Frank had goals beyond sports; he wanted to be a doctor... plus he had plans on trying out again next season.

I was 15 when the phone rang at about 6:30 AM on Januray 19, 2000 waking us all up. On the other end of the line, a woman was telling my father there had been a fire at Frank's dorm and school officials were accounting for students in the building.  Not worrying too much about it because Frank had told me about the dozen false-alarms in the past few weeks, I left for school. I brought my ice skates with me (I was big into ice hockey at the time) since the lake behind my school was now frozen.  I called home after school and my uncle answered saying my parents had gone up to the university and I should just come home.

There were cars lined up and down my street.  When I walked in, my relatives were all around the kitchen table and staring at me. They didn't say anything. I put my things in my room and my Uncle Mike and Louie Delauro sat down on my brother's bed and told me there were 4 or 5 students that still hadn't checked-in with the school and no one had yet heard from Frank.  He also said there  were 3 bodies found in the hallway on Frank's floor.  I realized then that while I was in school that day, oblivious to the unfolding events, my parents were having a very different day at Seton Hall trying to find their son.  Only an hour before I cam home, police had called my parents requesting Frank's dental records for possible identification of an unrecognizable body. 

I pretended to be strong. When you're an awkward, not even 5-foot teen with a Napoleon complex, you don't ever want to look weak and I wanted to control my emotions. Especially in front of my Uncle Mike and Lou; some pretty tough goombas.  I left the room quietly and went downstairs to my basement to take some clothes out of the drier.  When I knew I was alone, I smothered my face in a t-shirt and cried.

A few minutes later the phone rang again.  My uncle answered and without giving much of the conversation away to the spectators around him, he hung up.  His only words: Frank died. 




Just a few weeks before the fire, Frank won season tickets in a raffle giving him floor seats for all home basketball games.  The Hall's biggest win of the season came on January 18th, over a top-ranked St. John's team.  A few hours after the above photo was taken, two boys on Frank's floor started a fire on a couch as a prank to get back at an RA for shutting their party down.  Frank and two other boys were killed in the fire and 58 freshmen on the floor injured, 11 of them with severe disfiguring burns. After hiding behind their mob lawyers and lying about the fire for 7 years, the 2 boys were sentenced to 5 years each in a plea deal. They only served 3 with parole.

At the sentence hearing, the families of the victims were allowed to give statements to the court. Everyone let their emotions out... everyone except the defendants.  I can still hear my dad telling them they would "rot in hell forever." I tried to take a different angle and deliver a message of doing good and to make up for what they've taken from this world. So now they are out and I wonder what good they are actually doing.  

The above photo was the last one ever taken of Frank. He is sitting court-side at this game with my dad.  It was published in the Asbury Park Press 8 weeks after he died, running a story on this up-and-coming basketball star and had no idea Frank was even in the shot. We were at breakfast on a Sunday morning, all still floating in the air as if falling from the sky when we saw this photo in the paper.  It was as if he was sending us a message. 

Sailor Suits...

 Frank's scholarship allows his memory and his message of living a good life to continue.  I am happy to be supporting this program and hope to continue to support it for the rest of my life. The Fund has awarded over $50,000 in scholarship money to deserving students since 2000.  The fund has also donated money to put lights on Frank's baseball field so kids can feel like big-leaguers playing under lights. 

Donations to the Scholarship Fund can be sent here:

The Frank S. Caltabilota, Jr. Scholarship Fund
35 Stevens Ave
West Long Branch, NJ 07764

30 Before 30

This idea was totally stolen...

... but I think it was created for others to steal.  I recently read about a guy from Hoboken, NJ named Jonathan Verpent started a plan on his 29th birthday to complete 30 good deeds before the 30th anniversary of his birth.  His deeds included simple things like just donating money to the American Red Cross or more involved work like volunteering to help clean up following Hurricane Sandy.  For his final deed he traveled to South Africa to help build a community center.

I'm positive this guy wasn't in his final year of veterinary school when he started his mission.  I'm almost sure he wasn't 3 months away from taking the biggest exam of his life, and I could be wrong but I'm willing to bet he was not a quarter-of-a-million dollars in debt going into his first good deed.  I'll admit it, there's no way I can start a summer camp for kids in the ghetto in my free time.  I'm stressed the hell out.  I'm always tired.  I'm always worried about the future and preparing myself for the next big thing.  I worry about everything.  And I just completed my 29th full year of being alive on July 21 of this year.

I'm a privileged bastard.  Don't get me wrong, nothing's been handed to me, but I have never felt like something was out of reach for me.  I was raised by a crew of hard-working, greasy, manicotti-wielding, loud and stubborn Italians that never took no for an answer and did whatever it took to make it (and chased me with a wooden spoon if I talked back).  I have parents that would do anything for me and have always been there to pick me up when I screwed up bad enough to fall hard.  I understand that there's a lot of people out there, a lot of kids out there, that don't have that security blanket.  I think it's time to give back...

So my wife (who also just turned 29) and I agreed to give this a try.  We are making a list of missions we want to complete this year.  Some are simple (like donate blood for the first time ever and not pass out... :/ ) and others might take a little more work (like visit a children's hospital with puppies from the humane society).  Some might be vacations with a spin but everything will have good intentions to make a difference.

Next August we might have only helped my neighbor jump start her car, or maybe this will be called the 5 or 6 good deeds before 30.  In any case we are doing what we can to try to give back.

Stay tuned,

Thomas

Have an idea on how we can give back? Comment below!
For more information about Jonathan Verpent see his website, 30deeds.com